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I met Akosua in December of last year when she came to do her clinical at a hospital I work at. We talked and I enjoyed every bit of it. I wanted more than anything to take her number but I was too shy to ask her for it. So I decided I would do it the next time I see her. The next time I saw her turned out to be the next semester. I didn’t want to take chances and let another semester pass me by, so I took her number that very day.
Talking on the phone revealed a lot more about her. One of the things that struck me was that we had a lot in common. I am not sure what I felt was love. But I liked her enough to ask her to be my girlfriend. She accepted my proposal and we dated for two weeks before she went back to school.
I was concerned that the distance would ruin what we had but I also had faith that we would make it work. Unfortunately, it takes two to tango. While I was ready to make it work, she didn’t put any effort into communicating properly with me. No matter the time I called her, she wouldn’t pick up. And it took her forever to return my calls. I could call her at 11 PM and her number would be busy.
I brought her attention to everything that was going wrong in the relationship, but her behaviour remained unchanged. While I was figuring out how to fix things, an unknown number called me out of nowhere. The person said she was looking for Kofi. “I am not Kofi,” I told her. She mumbled something about calling the wrong line and then hung up.
The next day this same number called me. This time around she said, “I just want to commend you for your good manners. Yesterday you could have been rude to me but you chose to be polite. Can we be friends?” I obliged and we started chatting.
She was the one who initiated most of our conversations. And I realized she was interested in my relationship. Every little thing she would say, “So how is your girlfriend doing today?” Or “You are such a nice guy. Your girlfriend must be happy to have you.” I didn’t know why she was so interested in my love life but I let her understand that I was not single.
One day we were texting when she asked, “So who is your girlfriend? I want to see her face.” Something felt off but I sent her my girlfriend’s photo regardless. When she saw it she texted back, “Thank God you passed the test.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I asked, “Which test did I pass?” It was then she said, “I am sorry but I haven’t been honest with you. I am Akosua’s best friend. She sent me to test your loyalty to your relationship.” I was more confused than ever.
How is it that someone who wasn’t committed to the relationship decided to put my loyalty to the test? I felt like Akosua was playing games with my heart. And all I wanted was for her to tell me where I stand in her life. However, she wouldn’t do that so I became friends with her best friend. I figured if anyone knew the mind of a woman, it should be another woman.
I started talking to Aggie hoping to get updates on Akosua. However, she barely had any news for me. So we’d end up talking about us instead. Unlike my girlfriend, her friend was always available to talk to me, so I called her often. As we got to know each other better, Aggie started opening up about her the problems she was facing in her relationship. She talked about how toxic her boyfriend was and how terrible all her exes were. “I have never been lucky when it comes to love,” she would say.
I spent more time talking to her because we were in the same shoes. I always encouraged her and told her that the right man would come along so she should be patient.
We were always on the phone talking to the point that I didn’t even realize how and when I fell in love with her. I could tell the feeling was mutual because everything she did pointed to the fact that she loved me. All this while, Akosua had ignored me and wouldn’t even return my calls.
However, I didn’t plan on getting together with Aggie. But you know the human heart is relentless. Things were casual between us until one day I invited her to my place to help me prepare a delicacy I wasn’t confident I could prepare on my own. She came over and we started cooking and I guess she was impressed with how kindly I treated her. All of a sudden she started telling me about everything Akosua was doing on campus.
She showed me texts and videos of Akosua making out with different guys on campus and the numerous sugar daddies she was going out with. I literally broke down and cried because I was hoping to somehow fix my relationship. In my moment of grief, I ended up in bed with Aggie. Yes, we had sex.
After the incident, my love for her deepened and she confessed to me later that she also wanted me. I was single or so I thought until Akosua came back. She picked a fight with Aggie for snatching me from her. As I type this, the two friends are at loggerheads while Aggie and I are together. I chose her because she made me feel special in a way I haven’t felt for ages. The energy was so intense that it reflected in our day-to-day activities. We could talk five or six times a day. And we still do.
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My problem is, I was making a Snapchat video with one of my colleagues when she kissed me for fun. There is nothing between us, not even after the silly kiss. I wanted to delete the video but I forgot. Unfortunately, Aggie saw the video and assumed the worst. I told her it meant nothing but she wouldn’t accept it. She went ahead and slept with one of her friends as payback for what I did. I was so deeply cut that I wanted to break up with her. But I realized I was the one who set the precedence so I forgave her and we moved on.
Since then we’ve been open and both of us have been faithful to this point. The matter at hand now is, she has become insecure. If she calls me now and I’m not in a position to pick up, then hell will break loose. She gets in a bad mood when an unknown number calls me. When I’m chatting with my friends, she gets scared that they will snatch me from her. I don’t even talk to them in her presence.
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She knows my password and picks up my calls anytime, yet she is still insecure. I have assured her on numerous occasions that I will not repeat my mistakes but she is still holding on to her fears. Now I’m always trying to make her feel better and calm her down. I really want to make it work, but my efforts are insufficient. We have met each other’s families but that doesn’t seem to be enough.
Just yesterday, we were having fun at my house when suddenly she went silent, only for me to see her crying. I asked what the issue was and she said, “I am afraid I will lose you and miss all the happiness we have together.” Honestly, I love her to eternity. How can I assure her that I’m here to stay and that she’s all I have? The incident occurred in March, but it still frightens her even though she paid me back for it. I did wrong, but how can I make it right?
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