Cameroon timber
Sometimes the internet hands you a thread so unhinged you have to grab popcorn and question the entire concept of romance. That’s exactly what happened when Reddit users started sharing their worst first date experiences — and let’s just say, Cupid was not in the room.
We’re talking about people who got ditched mid-date for a booty call, others who were thrown up on multiple times (plus once on the mom who came to pick them up), and even one poor soul whose date stole a shoe off their foot and ran away — never to be seen again. So we rounded up the most chaotic, cringe-worthy, and spiritually damaging first date disasters the internet had to offer. Read on, wince in solidarity… and then ask yourself: Is love even worth it?(Yes. But also… maybe stay home.)
1.
“She admitted to getting a booty call while we were sitting with drinks. After a trip to the restroom, I came back to the table — and she was just gone. Talk about a hit to the ego!”
— MTA2023
2.
“He took me roller skating and threw up four times — twice on me, once on the way to the bathroom, and once on his mom when she came to pick us up. He never came back to school after that, and I never saw him again.”
— Zoltarrah2000
3.
“I met him for dinner for the first time that night. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my foot, took off my shoe, and ran away with it. I never saw him — or the shoe — again.”
— Top-cheesecake5025
4.
“One of my first-ever dates was taking a girl I really liked from school to the cinema. During the ads, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back the movie had already started. It was really dark, so I just sat down where I thought my seat was. Turns out I was two rows behind her — she was sitting with another guy. I didn’t realize until the lights came on at the end. I must’ve been too nervous to notice.”
— soundguy_2603
5.
“He got his car towed after I told him not to park in that specific lot next to where we were headed. He proceeded to get absolutely trashed when we realized his car had been towed — at the bar I was working at at the time. After the owner 86’d him, I bought him an Uber home, and as he was getting in the car, he told me he loved me. Then the Uber driver called me and said, ‘Please don’t request a ride for someone again without warning me — your date was a dick.’ Dude got home and started sending me selfies of himself taking a shit. I deleted Tinder after that.”
— sallycinnamon13
6.
“My first date with my ex was him asking if I wanted Schlotzsky’s for lunch. I said no because I don’t like sandwiches. But he really wanted it, and instead of ordering it to go, he went inside and sat down to eat for about 30 minutes — while I waited in the cold car.”
— AcademyAhri
7.
“I had just moved to a new city and got slammed with horrible pollen allergies. We had our date outside, and I sneezed at least 100 times during our 45-minute date — which is more than one sneeze per minute. My eyes were watering and bloodshot from all the sneezing, and everyone was staring at us. There was no second date.”
— SomeLuckSC
8.
“I have a speech impediment where I can’t pronounce r’s clearly. 99% of the time, it’s no big deal. But one time, I was on a date with this girl in college, and she was showing me some drawings she had illustrated. I said, ‘Wow, you’re so artistic. Apparently she heard, ‘Wow, you’re so autistic.’ She got really pissed off and stormed out. There was no second date.”
— Skank-Pit
9.
“After my wife passed, I decided to try that whole dating thing again about a year later. What does the old man do? Sign up with a matchmaker, of course — like an actual brick-and-mortar place that says, ‘We use fancy algorithms and things to get you a date!’ I get matched up, we chat, we text — it’s going well. We meet for coffee, and this very engaging, nice lady proceeds to text on her phone for 50 minutes straight while giving me one-word answers. I got up, paid for my drink, and never saw her again. At least the coffee was good.”
— Mike7676
10.
“It started off normal — we went to an improv show, took a walk, and got sushi at a restaurant. But that’s where the night took a turn. She started telling me about her husband and their poly lifestyle, and how she was seeing four or five other guys at the time. Then she started talking about anal — very loudly. Other tables were staring at us. I wasn’t feeling it, but I decided to ride it out. When we finished eating, her husband showed up to pick her up. It was a surreal experience. If you’re poly, please put that in your profile and make it clear before going on a date.”
— taquitoburrito
11.
“I met a girl at a local pub in NYC. She turned out to be pretty rude and obnoxious. The bartender knew her and even tried to warn me. When she realized I wasn’t interested, she walked out — but not before taking my jacket with her. It was the middle of winter.”
— moto0392
12.
“We were watching fireworks, and I went to grab a drink from the cooler. I bent sideways to reach it and accidentally let out a 65 dB fart right at her.”
— explorthis
13.
“Agreed to go to a local pub. She brought me up to the function room and her granny’s 80th birthday party. I met her entire extended family.”
— Active-strawberry-37
14.
“A guy from my gym asked me out. As the day got closer, he still had no plans and said we’d just go where the wind blows. I went anyway — mistake #1. He picked me up, cracked open a White Claw while driving — mistake #2 — and we spent the night aimlessly driving to random parks, talking, and grabbing KFC because I hadn’t eaten — mistake #3. Later, he took me to get his dogs for yet another park stop — mistake #4. Then he finally ordered pizza at midnight, which we ate in silence while he watched YouTube. I left, gave a half-hearted fuck it goodbye, and the next day he texted that he ‘wasn’t feeling it.’ Then he switched gyms, and I never saw him again.”
— iamaswiftieeee
15.
“I cried — about basketball. We met at a bar to watch a game where I was convinced my alma mater was going to advance. They did not, and as it became clear they were losing, I started tearing up. We’re now married, so fortunately he finds me passionate and quirky — not deranged and obsessive.”
— abqkat
16.
“The guy picked me up and said he needed to drop something off on the way. Turns out the drop-off was a load of steel at a metal recycler. We sat in line for over an hour. Once the errand was done, I had him take me straight home.”
— Improvgal
17.
“I was living in Amsterdam and thought I had matched with an American expat filmmaker like me. We met for dinner at a small bar I frequented. Turns out he was just a tourist — already stoned and quickly getting drunk. At first he seemed fine, but once the beers hit, he got louder and more chaotic. He insisted on splitting dishes, and before I could answer, he grabbed one of my two pieces of fish with his bare hands, sending fries flying onto the neighbouring table. Throughout dinner, he loudly rambled about his army trauma, kept drinking, and was drawing side-eyes from the staff. Then he casually asked if I was into finding another girl for a threesome — right before asking what I wanted for dessert. I rushed to get the check, walked out, and told him it wasn’t going to work. He seemed genuinely surprised.”
— maraikaa
18.
“On the way home, his car got stuck in the snow. He got out to push it, then came back to the window and said he needed to use the bathroom. My house was only a few minutes away on foot, so we left the car and walked to my place. He was in my bathroom for over an hour. When he finally came out, he told me not to follow him back to his car. He couldn’t even look at me. We never went out again.”
— ENEFFETITTIES
19.
“They waited until the date to admit they had kids — after saying they didn’t.”
— ThingsOfThatNaychah
20.
“This guy lied about being a lawyer and claimed he lived downtown. I was finishing work emails before our big date when I realized my Uber had taken me 30 minutes outside the city — to a random suburb. I figured maybe it was some hidden restaurant, but nope — the address was just his house. I went in, still hoping there was a restaurant behind the gate, but he acted like everything was totally normal — asking about my job while never once mentioning that I was in his home. I excused myself to the bathroom, texted my friends a panicked WTF, and double-checked our messages to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood. When I asked when we were leaving for the restaurant, he casually said, ‘Actually, I figured we could just order Uber Eats and eat in.’ That’s when I pretended to be sick, said I needed to go home, and left. With no Ubers nearby, I had to walk 30 minutes in the freezing cold to the nearest train station and ride the suburb line back.”
— BestConfection5453
21.
“I’m a Type 1 diabetic, and we went out for dinner. She got annoyed with me for having to inject insulin. She called it ‘gross and embarrassing’ and told me I should have done it before coming out — like a couple of hours in advance — or not at all.”
— Herbert_Erpaderp
22.
“I showed up after a two-hour drive and met her at a mall. Turns out she was basically catfishing me — she wanted me to date her five-months-pregnant friend who needed help meeting people.”
— DaniTheLovebug
23.
“I had a blind date who took me to a comedy show and then proceeded to heckle the comedian. The audience turned on him — calling him an asshole and telling him to shut up.”
— Dwesal
24.
“I met a med student on Plenty of Fish whose photos were all taken from far away. I was skeptical, but impressed by the whole medical student angle and figured it couldn’t be that bad. Right before our date, he asked me to pick him up — no car. When I arrived, he was smelly, unkempt, and looked nothing like his pictures. I decided I’d stay for one drink, then leave. As soon as we sat down, he said he had something cool to show me. He pulled up a photo of a naked man on an operating table during anal surgery — something he’d taken at school. It was graphic, disgusting, and a complete violation of privacy. I chugged my wine and left within five minutes. Fastest date ever.”
— DasVivis
25.
“It was a blind date. We met at a restaurant, and as soon as she saw me, I could see the disappointment on her face. Then she said she’d been expecting more of a Channing Tatum type. Damn — it was brutal.”
— BlackIsTheSoul
26.
“He picked me up for dinner but said he needed to stop at Walmart first. We never actually got to eat, because that’s when he finally told me he has a severe phobia of choking — so he blends all his food. I wasn’t judging and tried to be understanding. Then he parked in a gas station lot and started going on and on about being anti-vax, a flat-earther, how 9/11 didn’t happen, chemtrails — basically every conspiracy under the sun. I blocked him as soon as I got home and couldn’t believe I had somehow ended up in a car with someone like that. This was pre-pandemic too, so he was flying all those flags way before everyone else.”
— Adler221
27.
“I met this guy at a restaurant with a bar in it. We were just planning to meet and chat. I showed up in casual dress. Jean jackets were just coming back into style, so I wore one. He looked at me and said, ‘A jean jacket??? Omg, where’d you get that? It’s not 1988!’ Then he just kept being a jackass. I said, ‘Huh, I like it! It was not nice meeting you,’ and walked out. The bartender hadn’t even made our drinks yet.”
— FlipTheSwitch2020
28.
“We decided to go to a movie. We enjoyed it, and as we were leaving the theatre to get some food, who do I see coming down the hallway from another screening? My crazy ex. She saw me, and with rage in her eyes, came charging toward us. I had broken up with her a few months earlier. Without saying a word, she punched my date in the face, then just walked away without so much as looking back. Before we could even get security, my ex vanished into the crowd. My date said she was okay and told me not to worry about it.”
— brokenpinata
29.
“He took me to his favourite restaurant, only to ask me to pay because he didn’t know they didn’t take cards.”
— 24kWishes
30.
“I showed up to my date, and his business partner was there. He stayed the entire time.”
— InvisibleTuktuk
31.
“She left me in the middle of our date — apologizing — because her boyfriend, who hadn’t talked to her for three days, finally texted her. But in her defence, she did pay for both of us lol.”
— noodles_andtea
32.
“She was a vegan. I didn’t know this until we went on a date and I ordered a dish with chicken in it. Over the course of the meal, I got lectured about how meat was the worst thing ever.”
— bbbbbthatsfivebees
So… which one of these chaotic first dates resonated with you the most? Was it the blended-food conspiracy theorist? The ex who charged in like a Final Boss? The jean jacket roast? Or the business partner who third-wheeled the entire night? Drop a comment and tell us which story had you screaming — and if you’ve got a first date horror story of your own. The internet deserves to hear it.
And check out BuzzFeed Canada on TikTok and Instagram for more!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.